Extract
Having been introduced to Osho, Veena attended
one of his meditation camps. Despite this interest, she is determined
not to stay for long...
The next
day I get a message to please see him again at 2 o'clock. Seems like
the witching hour for me! More assured, I meet him again. This time he
is all down-to-earth business and it transpires that he wants me to take
sannyas. This is too much to ask! As best I can while sitting cross-legged
on the floor, I again draw myself up haughtily and inform him that I am
an individual and I don't join groups. He looks quizzically at me, sits
back into his lecturing stance and proceeds to give me a discourse on
why taking sannyas is not losing one's individuality but gaining one's real
self. I remain unconvinced and show it. He stops in mid-flight and I can
literally see the thoughts going through his head: hmmm, wrong approach.
This is the masculine logical approach and I'm dealing with a female. Have
to try something else.
I maintain my ground while he seeks another way.
Then, 'I have a beautiful name for you,' he murmurs.
Shit! He's found my weak point like an arrow hitting bull's
eye. I have always hated the name my mother gave me and since leaving
home have changed it twice. It's a big thing with me. But I still don't
feel right with the current name I have given myself - so my interest
is provoked.
Resentful, however, at being hooked in spite of myself, I kind
of growl, 'What is it?' Not looking at him. Trying to keep my distance.
Totally undeterred, he starts to talk about a musical instrument
called a veena. He says it is a rare instrument, difficult to play
and chosen by the goddess Saraswati because, when it is played, by a
master, its sound is so sublime it will instill a state of euphoria,
of bliss, of love, of meditation into all who listen.
'Your name will be Prema Veena,' he says. 'You will be my instrument.
Through you many people will be helped to meditate.'
As I gaze at him I feel myself being suffused with a sense
of absolute love; a kind of love I have hitherto never encountered.
I realise I am in the presence of a being and an energy far beyond my
small perceptions and understanding and I am overwhelmed with an enormity
of vision which I can only glimpse, guess at. My head bows in abject
humbleness. For the first time I touch his feet as the Indians do. It
is the only way I can give some expression to what I feel. I am honoured
to be in his presence; I am grateful to be allowed to be here.
And I know with total clarity that I have a place and a purpose
in this universe and that it is he that will be able to point me in the
right direction - until my understanding of the mystery of myself and
the existence is complete.
The mala round my neck glows with beauteous light and grace
as I stumble back to my little hotel room.
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